THREE ESSENTIALS — Part 1
One of the greatest examples of a “got your six” relationship in the Bible is found in the “friendship” of a guy named Jonathan, son of Saul and heir to the throne of Israel, and a guy named David, the guy who would eventually succeed Saul as king.
Their friendship is an example of what a COVENANT FRIENDSHIP looks like. They demonstrate THREE ESSENTIALS for building a relationship you can count on. We’ll cover the first essential in this post.
1. THE FIRST ESSENTIAL IS AFFINITY – AN AWARENESS THAT YOU SHARE THE SAME VALUES, PRIORITIES AND DIRECTION IN LIFE.
1 Samuel 18 evidently describes the first time Jonathan and David met.
As soon as [David] had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. —1 Samuel 18:1 ESV
The word “knit” indicates “strands made up of the same material.” The Hebrew means, “to physically tie” together. The first time David and Jonathan met, they hit it off! They were “joined at the hip.
This was “bro-mance” at first site. We’re talking a bro-mance stronger than Brady and Gronk, Forrest Gump and Lt Dan, Frodo and Sam or Sponge Bob and Patrick. This is an incredible picture masculine friendship.
Now, in case you’re prone to write David off as a somewhat soft, incredibly emotional, touchy-feely type — after all he was a poet (see Psalms); it’s important to remember that David was Israel’s most military leader and that Jonathan was a successful warrior himself. Here’s the point:
REAL MEN NEED FRIENDS, (and so do REAL WOMEN).
When David and Jonathan met, their hearts were tied together. It was as if they were brothers who had somehow been separated since birth.
…the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. —1 Samuel 18:1 ESV
Did you notice that the word “soul” is mentioned three times in Verse 1? It gets mentioned again in Verse 3. These men were “soul-friends.” They were best friends.
Their friendship was so important that they actually formalized it with a COVENANT.
Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. —1 Samuel 18:3 ESV
What was the secret sauce of their friendship?
Evidently Jonathan and David met right after David’s smack down with Goliath. As the son of the king, Jonathan had a ring-side seat to that fight. Jonathan had heard Goliath talking smack about God and the army of Israel for forty days. He heard him talk smack about David just moment ago. But, then he watched as this bold and courageous defiance rose in David.
I believe something clicked in Jonathan’s heart when he heard David say,
“You come at me with sword and spear and battle-ax. I come at you in the name of God-of-the-Angel-Armies…” —1 Samuel 17:45-47 MSG
Jonathan had a front row seat to all of this action! He probably fought alongside David and all Israel in the battle that followed David’s take down of Goliath.
This is so important:
You never know who is watching you and watching your faith!
The faith of David inspired and challenged the faith of Jonathan, the crown prince! The passion of David’s heart for God and the strength of David’s faith resonated with something deep in Jonathan!
I love the way The Message describes what happened in 1 Sam 18.
By the time David had finished reporting to Saul, Jonathan was deeply impressed with David—an immediate bond was forged between them. He became totally committed to David. From that point on he would be David’s number-one advocate and friend. —1 Samuel 18:1 MSG
Do you have that? Do you have someone you would describe as your “number-one advocate and friend”?
The word “advocate” basically means “super fan.” It’s this idea of public endorsement or affirmation. It’s the kind of friend that opens doors for you that you could never open for yourself!
This was such an unusual and extraordinary friendship. It also appears to have developed very quickly.
As soon as [David] had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David… —1 Samuel 18:1 ESV
BOOM! These two became best friends.
Have you ever experienced that kind of “connection” and chemistry with someone? You heard their story… You got the introduction, and there was this immediate bond? You felt it: “This dude is my brother! This girl is my sister!?”
This is apparently how the friendship between Jonathan and David started. There was an “immediate bond” followed by a commitment or covenant, and public endorsement and affirmation.
Why was the BOND between David and Jonathan so immediate?
I believe it’s because of the first essential for a “got your six” relationship:
AFFINITY – [It was] an awareness that they [Jonathan and David] shared the same values, priorities and direction in life.
C.S. Lewis once indicated,
“Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another: What! You too? I thought I was the only one…”
I believe the thing that resonated and clicked in Jonathan when he watched David take down Goliath was that he saw the same passion and heart for God in David that was alive and beating in him! I think when he saw David fight, he thought to himself, “You too? I thought I was the only guy who really believed that God had a calling and destiny for His people! Brother, you rock! We’ve got to talk!”
Why would I think this?
Because there’s a great story that gives us a glimpse into the character and faith of Jonathan that shows up a few chapters earlier in 1 Samuel 14.
The Character and Faith of Jonathan on Display
The nation of Israel was being relentlessly pounded and terrorized by the Philistines. The same group we read about in 1 Samuel 17 at the showdown between David and Goliath. Saul, Jonathan’s Dad, was completely overwhelmed and intimidated by the opposition. So much so that he was paralyzed by fear and miserably failing as leader.
But Jonathan, Saul’s son, was passionate about the glory and honor of God and freedom of Israel. So much so, that even though he and his armor bearer were completely outmanned by at least 20 – 2, Jonathan decided that he wanted to pick a fight with the Philistines.
In 1 Samuel 14, Jon looked at his armor bearer and said,
“Maybe God will work for us. Nothing can hinder the Lord from saving, whether by many or by few.” —1 Sam 14:6 MSG/NIV
Evidently, Jonathan had a track record for building solid, strong masculine friendships, because when he mentioned this idea to his armor bearer, instead of looking back at him and saying, “You’re out of your ever-loving mind!” His armor bearer said,
“Let’s do it! Go ahead! Do what you think best. I am with you heart and soul.” —1 Sam 14:7
So, Jonathan and his armor bearer took on a group of at least 20 Philistines and won, igniting the faith of a cowering king named Saul and all Israel!
Here’s the point: The reason Jonathan and David forged such a quick, life-long bond is because they shared the same values and they were going in the same direction. These guys were both passionate about God. They both loved Israel! They marched to the same drum! They dreamed about the same things! They shared the same values and priorities!
They didn’t have to “get on the same page,” they were on the same page!
One more thought about affinity.
It can occur around small things. For instance, if you’re into working out, you and my friend and colleague, Zach, will probably hit it off quickly. On the other hand, if you’re a grandparent with grandkids under the age of five, you and I will have a lot to talk about. These things are somewhat “small.” But then, there are things like values, priorities and a general direction in life that are massive. When small and huge things line up, you’ve got the potential for a covenant, “got your six” kind of friend.
Is there someone in your life you share the same values, priorities and direction in life with?
That person is a candidate to become a “got your six” kind of friend.