Some time ago I read this chain letter on how to get a perfect pastor.
The results of a computerized survey on the expectations of church members now indicate the characteristics of the perfect pastor.
He’s sermons are expositional, topical, life-related, drop-dead funny while also being straight-up serious.
He never preaches more than 25 minutes but gives you content that could fill hours.
He’s direct when it comes to sin, but never offends or ticks off anyone.
He works from 6:00 am to midnight, but gets 8 hours of sleep.
He’s slim on the thick side, but stocky on the skinny side.
He’s kind, but doesn’t let himself get pushed around.
He’s young, but looks really mature.
He’s 35 years-old, but has 40 years of experience.
He makes $25,000 a year, but lives in a beautiful house, drives a nice car, wears cool clothes, and buys dozens of books, while giving 10% of his income as tithe, 10% as an offering, and another 10% to missions.
He’s passionate about working with teenagers and young adults, and spends all his time with senior citizens.
He’s a close, personal, best friend to literally everyone.
He smiles all the time with a straight face because He has a sense of humor that keeps him seriously dedicated to his work.
He makes 15 visits a day to families in the church, families out of the church, church members in the hospital, and the distant relatives of church members in the hospital; but somehow spends 8 hours a day in the office so that he’s always available whenever you call.
He speaks English and Spanish, and knows Hebrew and Greek, but is really down to earth. He’s a devoted student of God’s Word, but always manages to stay culturally relevant.
He’s a terrific husband, a great dad, and an amazing granddad, even though he’s never at home.
He has three kids and four grandkids who are perfectly mannered and never get into trouble.
His wife cooks like Nigella Lawson or Rachel Ray, decorates her house and the church like Joanna Gaines, prays like Hannah, leads like Esther, worships like Mary, serves like Martha, studies the Bible like Beth Moore and Joyce Meyer, counsels like Lisa TerKeurst, and looks like Jennifer Garner, without making anyone jealous.
If your pastor doesn’t measure up, simply send this chain letter to six other churches whose pastors failed to meet these very reasonable standards. Then, bundle up your pastor and send him to the church at the top of the list. Within three months, you’ll 1,643 pastors, and one of them should be perfect!
WARNING: Keep this letter going! One church broke this chain and in less than six months got its old pastor back!
Obviously, there is NO PERFECT PASTOR because there are NO PERFECT PEOPLE.
But, what if what qualifies YOUR PASTOR to best minister to you is not his or her perfection, but his or her weakness and brokenness?
Perhaps this is why Paul wrote:
“I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that
the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest
(yes, may pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me!”—2 CORINTHIANS 12:9 AMPC
Best-selling author and podcasting extraordinaire, Ed Mylett has correctly said:
“You are most qualified to help the person
you used to be.” —ED MYLETT
Again, what best equips YOUR PASTOR to minister to, relate with and connect with YOU is NOT his perfection, but his brokenness that has been met, covered and is in the process of being healed by God’s reckless and relentless grace! So, instead of praying for or waiting on the “perfect pastor,” why not love, honor, encourage and lift up the very imperfect, but redeemed pastor God has given you!
By the way, the Bible is pretty clear on this.
And now, friends, we ask you to honor those leaders who work so hard for you, who have been given the responsibility of urging and guiding you along in your obedience. Overwhelm them with appreciation and love!
—1 THESSALONIANS 5:12-13 MSG
NOTE: You can also cross-reference the above passage with passages like 1 Tim 5:17; Heb 13:7, 17; 1 Cor 9:14; 1 Thess 1:3.
The NIV renders Verse 13, “Hold them in the highest regard…” The NLT renders it, “Show them great respect and wholehearted love…” The Greek phrase is unusual. It doesn’t suggest a once a year or occasional kind of action, but a continual attitude.
1 Timothy 5:17 even challenges us, “Give a bonus to leaders who do a good job, especially the ones who work hard at preaching and teaching” (1 TIM 5:17 MSG).
A Reality Check
I love the access YouTube and podcasting platforms has given us to some of the greatest, most gifted speakers on the planet. It’s incredible. And I thoroughly enjoy and frequently listen to many of these exceptionally gifted pastors, leaders and teachers. I also honor them for the way they serve Jesus’ church by sharing their teachings on these platforms. Thank you.
Unfortunately, this access and availability has also created some very unrealistic expectations for the millions of pastors who serve local churches around the world.
With that in mind, before you carelessly and thoughtlessly compare your local pastor with someone you’ve see on YouTube or listened to on a podcast, keep in mind…
· Tony Evans ain’t showing up to exhort and encourage your Wednesday Morning Men’s Bible Study.
· Stephen Furtick ain’t doing your funeral.
· Beth Moore won’t be responding to your questions about Malachi and Matthew.
· Craig Groeschel ain’t running to get your groceries.
· Ed Young won’t be walking with you through the coming year.
· Jack Hibbs won’t be showing up at your house to lead a Bible Study on prophecy.
· Chris Hodges ain’t coming to your hospital bed.
· T.D. Jakes won’t be visiting your family in jail.
· Andy Stanley won’t be the shoulder you lean on.
· Joyce Meyer won’t be helping you overcome the actual Battle in Your Mind.
· Judah Smith won’t sympathize with you when you go through…stupid stuff.
· Phil Wickam, Kari Jobe, Brandon Lake, Chandler Moore, Charity Gayle, Chris Brown and Brooke Ligertwood won’t be singing you a song.
· Michael Todd won’t be talking to you and your spouse about making it in your marriage.
· Joel Osteen won’t be writing your obituary.
· Todd White ain’t officiating your wedding.
· Bill Johnson won’t be joining you on your journey.
· Christine Caine won’t be there to help you when your kid starts raising cain.
· Chad Veach and Kris Vallotton won’t recognize your voice.
· Priscilla Shirer won’t be quoting Scripture and sharing a spoken word at your kid’s wedding.
· Rich Wilkerson ain’t hanging out with you this weekend.
· And, Jenetzen Franklin won’t be playing his saxophone for you and offering you friendship.
It will be the pastors and leaders of your local church. Guys and girls who don’t have the glitz, glamor, mystique, technology and big budget of all the big names, but have a HEART to love, serve, care for, shepherd and lead you, despite of and often in the throws of their own weaknesses, brokenness, imperfections and pain. These are the people who will keep showing up in your life.
So, instead of praying for or waiting on the “perfect pastor,” start loving, honoring, praying for, encouraging, lifting up and affirming the perfectly imperfect, but saved, healed, restored and redeemed pastor God has given you!
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT: I love to credit, footnote and give acknowledgments wherever possible. Several versions of my takes on “The Perfect Pastor” and the “famous pastors” segments exist. These are NOT “original” with me. I simply gave them my personal update and spin.