We were created for community! Best-selling author and marriage and family therapist, Gary Smalley, described it like this:
“Life is relationships; the rest is just the details.” —Gary Smalley
Part of what it means to be made in the image of God is that we were CREATED with the CAPACITY to CONNECT.
Not long after God created Adam, He surveyed His creation and made an incredible assessment.
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.
I will make a helper suitable for him.” —Genesis 2:18 NIV
That’s an incredible statement! Keep in mind, it was made in the context of a world without sin. When God made this statement, the markets were up, rent was down, your favorite football team was winning — EVERYTHING was just the way it should be, except for one thing. Adam lacked a RELATIONSHIP with another human being.
And, what he lacked was not some kind of casual relationship — not a “friend with benefits” sort of arrangement. Adam lacked a COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP — someone who was committed to him and someone he was committed to.
The “science” is in when it comes to RELATIONSHIPS. Not being CONNECTED wreaks havoc on us in every area of life — emotionally, physically and spiritually. Studies indicate that relationally isolated, disconnected people are more prone to stuff like depression, anxiety, loneliness, low self-esteem, substance abuse, sexual addiction, eating and sleeping disorders and the list goes on… Why? Because “…it is not good to be alone…” It’s not good for us to live disconnected lives.
Erwin McManus describes it like this in his book Soul Cravings.
“The more isolated and disconnected we are, the more shattered and distorted our self-identity. We are not healthy when we are alone. We find ourselves as we connect to others. Without community we don’t know who we are…
“When we live outside of healthy community, we not only lose others, but we lose ourselves…Who we understand ourselves to be is dramatically affected for better or worse by those we hold closest to us.” —Erwin McManus
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.
I will make a helper suitable for him.” —Genesis 2:18 NIV
Eventually, God put Adam to sleep, and, somehow mysteriously and supernaturally removed a rib, and from that rib fashioned an incredible woman. He eventually named her, “Eve.”
Can you imagine what it must have been like when Adam woke up from that sleep, rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and looked over and saw Eve for the first time? We don’t know what she looked like, but compared to the options, she was amazing!
In fact, according to Scripture, the moment Adam looked at her, he broke into poetry! He broke into a song of commitment, community and relationship. I love the way this song reads in the New Living Translation:
“At last!” the man exclaimed.
Etta James was not the first person to sing that line! Adam was!
“At last!” the man exclaimed.
“This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’”
24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. —Genesis 2:23-24
If you’ve ever wondered, “What is God’s vision for marriage?” The last four words of Genesis 2:24 describes it. It’s describes God’s vision for marriage, specifically. But it also implies God’s heart for human relationships, generally. “…they become one flesh.”
God’s plan for marriage has always been two people – a man and a woman – coming together in a relationship where they are completely dependent on Him and totally committed to one another to grow together towards “ONE-NESS”.
His vision for marriage was never that we just avoid divorce. His vision has always been this incredible and supernatural movement towards “relational ONE-ness” – towards becoming “ONE FLESH” and growing in INTIMACY with one another. That’s God’s heart for MARRIAGES. I believe it also represents His heart for FRIENDSHIPS.
Committed, life-long, life-giving RELATIONSHIPS are the kind of relationships our soul craves. They’re the kind of relationships we were made to experience. Whether married or single, we long to connect in LIFE-GIVING RELATIONSHIPS with one another. Anything else is “not good”.
A PRAYER: Father, thank You for my wife? Thank You for bringing us together 37+ years ago. Thank You for the good years and thank You for the difficult ones, that forced us to change and grow.
May we always grow closer to You, and, may we also grow closer to one another. May we consistently and constantly move towards becoming ONE-FLESH. May we honor You and one another by the way we love and serve one another..
Father, I also thank You for the friends You’ve placed in my life. In 2021, may these friendships grow stronger in commitment, loyalty and Christ-like love.
Relationships are one of Your best gifts to me. May I honor these relationships by becoming the kind of friend You’ve always been to me. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.