I’m currently reading an incredible book on prayer titled, Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools by Tyler Staton and it contains this “prayer poem.” It’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve read and gets at the heart of what prayer can look like.
There’s Something I Wanted To Tell You
by Ted Loder
Holy One,
there is something I wanted to tell you, but there have been
errands to run,
bills to pay,
arrangements to make,
meetings to attend,
friends to entertain,
washing to do…
and I forget what it is I wanted to say to you,
and mostly I forget what I’m about
or why.
O God,
don’t forget me, please,
for the sake of Jesus Christ.
Eternal one,
there is something I wanted to tell you,
but my mind races with worrying and watching,
with weighing and planning,
with rutted slights and pothole grievances,
with leaky dreams and leaky plumbing
and leaky relationships that I keep trying to plug up;
and my attention is preoccupied
with loneliness,
with doubt,
and with things I covet;
and I forget what it is I want to say to you,
and how to say it honestly
or how to do much of anything.
O God,
don’t forget me, please,
for the sake of Jesus Christ.
Almighty One,
there is something I wanted to ask you,
but I stumble along the edge of a nameless rage,
haunted by a hundred floating fears,
of wars,
of losing my job,
of failing,
of getting sick and old,
having loved ones die,
of dying, and,
I forget what it is the real question is I wanted to ask,
and I forget to listen anyway,
because you seem unreal and far away,
and I forget what it is I have forgotten.
O God,
don’t forget me, please,
for the sake of Jesus Christ.
Oh Father . . . in heaven,
perhaps you’ve already heard what I wanted to tell you.
What I wanted to ask is
forgive me
heal me,
increase my courage, please.
Renew in me a little of love and faith,
and a sense of confidence,
and a vision of what it might mean
to live as though you were real,
and I mattered,
and everyone was sister and brother.
What I wanted to ask in my blundering way is
don’t give up on me,
don’t become too sad about me,
but laugh with me,
and try again with me,
and I will with you, too.
What I wanted to ask is
for peace enough to want and work for more,
for joy enough to share,
and for awareness that is keen enough
to sense your presence
here,
now,
there,
then,
always.
Amen.
—Ted Loder, There Is Something I Wanted To Tell You from Guerrillas of Grace: Prayers for the Battle quoted by Tyler Staton, Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools