Do you ever struggle with overwhelming, maybe even completely debilitating thoughts of inferiority, insecurity, failure and weakness? Anxiety? Depression? Discouragement? Thought that you’re not significant enough, secure enough, smart enough, strong enough, that you’re not…enough?
How can you change the trajectory when it comes to this relentless assault on your mind and emotions?
Wall Street Journal best-selling author, Jon Gordon, refers to Dr. James Gills as “the man who made me start talking to myself.”
Here’s the scoop. Dr. Gills is a world-renown ocular surgeon who has performed more cataract and lens implant surgeries than anyone in the world. He’s also an accomplished author, businessman, philanthropist, family man and world class athlete.
He’s the only person on the planet to have completed a record setting six Double Ironman Triathlons.
What’s a Double Ironman Triathlon?
Well, take an already body-crushing Triathlon and double it. That amounts to 4.8 miles swimming, 224 miles biking and 52.4 miles running — and do it all within 36 hours. That’s a Double Ironman Triathlon. The dude has completed six of those. The last one, when he was in his fifties.
When Jon Gordon asked him about the secret to his success, Dr. Gills replied:
“I’ve learned to TALK to myself, instead of LISTENING to myself.”
—Dr. James Gills
Gills knows that our minds are constantly being bombarded with voices that remind us of all we CAN’T DO. Thoughts that remind us of our inferiorities, inadequacies, idiosyncrasies, weaknesses, failures and flops. Thoughts that tell us, “You can’t. You shouldn’t. There’s no hope. You might as well give up.”
But instead of paying attention to those voices, Gills has learned the power of drowning out those voices with another voice.
Instead of LISTENING to himself, he TALKS to himself!
As a follower of Jesus, when Gills was preparing to run each triathlon, he memorized and recited Scripture to himself as he pushed his body beyond its limits. God’s Word enabled him to keep moving forward when it would have been easier to give up and quit. The words he said to himself provided the fuel and energy he needed to achieve what many believed to be impossible.
Instead of listening to voices that spoke failure and defeat, He focused on listening to THE VOICE that speaks love, value, worth, hope, faith, courage, strength, capability, creativity and victory.
What’s interesting is that long before Dr. Gills came up with the idea of “talking to yourself instead of listening to yourself,” world renown pastor, theologian and prolific author, D. Martin Lloyd-Jones made a very similar statement in his book, Spiritual Depression: It’s Causes and Cure. Released in 1965, Lloyd-Jones wrote:
“Have you realized that most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are LISTENING to yourself instead of TALKING to yourself?”
—D. Martin Lloyd-Jones [1]
BOOM!
Don’t miss that! “…most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself.”
As an individual who has struggled with periodic bouts with depression, overwhelming thoughts and feelings of insecurity, weakness and failure, suffocating levels of anxiety, and an ongoing battle for my personal mental health I can attest to this reality. So many of my struggles have been the result of self-inflicted wounds via a mismanaged thought life.
So many of my struggles have been the result of self-inflicted wounds
via a mismanaged thought life.
According to the man Sports Illustrated labeled as “the world’s best brain trainer,” Trevor Moawad:
“Saying something out loud is 10X more powerful than just thinking it.” —Trevor Moawad
Trevor made that statement in an interview with Tom Bilyeu on the Impact Theory Podcast. [2]
He went on to quote a study by Georgetown University professor Christine Porath whose research indicates that that negativity is a multiple 4 to 7X more powerful than positivity. Combine that with Trevor’s original thesis. When I say negative things out loud, they impact me 40 to 70X more powerfully. In other words, they’re 40 to 70X more likely to happen than if I didn’t say anything at all.
Trevor’s advice:
“Stop saying negative [stuff].” —Trevor Moawad
(Okay. He used a different word, but we’re keeping this blog PG.)
Instead, replace negative, self-defeating language and talk with declarations and affirmations based on God’s Word.
Or, to quote Dr. Gills and Dr. Lloyd-Jones, start TALKING to yourself instead of LISTENING to yourself.
Science seems to agree with both Gills and Lloyd-Jones.
According to the latest research, all of the negative self-talk taking place in our heads creates neural pathways or “super-highways” in our brain. And, the more we repeat the same negative thought, the wider and stronger that super-highway becomes, and the easier it is to repeat the same thought again and again and again.
Scientists and researchers are learning more and more about something called neuroplasticity, which simply refers to the brain’s ability to create new neural pathways. The brain can actually change its structures, rewire itself and adapt to change.
We can literally flip the script and begin telling ourselves a different story. We can create new neural pathways in our brain by doing what Romans 12:2 calls “renewing your mind.”
In fact, there is MRI evidence “suggesting that certain neural pathways are increased when people practice…affirmation(s).” [3] Further, the research goes on to suggest that practicing regular affirmations “makes us more resilient to difficulties when they arise.” [4]
So, instead of saying negative things like the following:
I can’t do this.
I’m so stinking tired.
I feel completely overwhelmed.
This challenge is too big for me.
I’ll never have enough money.
We’re in a recession. If it was tough making ends meet back then, I’m not sure what I’ll do now.
I’m such a failure.
I feel so weak.
I’m so discouraged.
I’m inadequate and incapable.
I’m so stressed and depressed.
I’m afraid.
I’m not good enough, smart enough, strong enough. I’m not…ENOUGH.
Let’s adopt Moawad’s challenge: “Stop saying negative [STUFF!]”
Instead, replace limiting, self-defeating statements like these, with declarations and affirmations that come straight from God’s Word!
In Psalm 119:13, the writer of perhaps the most Word-of-God focused chapter in the Bible wrote this:
With my lips I declare all the rules of your mouth.
—Psalm 119:13 ESV
I love the way The Message renders this verse.
I’ll transfer to my lips the counsel that comes from your mouth. —Psalm 119:13 MSG
In other words, the writer wrote: “God, thank you for giving me Your Word. But words on a page alone may represent promises and power unclaimed. So, I’ll not only give myself to reading Your Word, I’ll begin to speak and declare out loud Your Word over my life. I’ll transfer to my lips the counsel and word that comes from Your mouth.”
Words are meant to be heard. In fact, from a scientific point of view, reading and speaking out loud is beneficial for at least two reasons:
- It improves memorization. We actually remember more of what we say out loud.
- It also increases comprehension. We understand more of what we read or say out loud.
No wonder the writer of Psalm 119:13 said, “I’ll transfer to my lips the counsel that comes from Your mouth.”
When I Started Talking To Myself
The Case for Daily Affirmations
Years ago I created a series of affirmations based on God’s Word that I declare over myself on an almost daily basis. I update the list from time to time. But on an almost daily basis, at some point during my morning routine, I pause to talk to myself. I take a few minutes to speak God’s Word over myself, my marriage and my family and my life.
By the way, and, this is really important. I make these declarations not because they represent the current FACTS about me or my life, but because I believe they represent God’s heart for me.
I believe in a God who, according to Romans 4:17, “…calls those things which do not exist as though they did” (NKJ). By stating out loud the affirmations listed below, I seek to imitate my Heavenly Father. I’ll keep making these declarations until the “facts” come into alignment with the “truth.”
Keep making declarations until every “fact”
comes into alignment with God’s “truth”!
Isaiah 55:11 is clear when it comes to the power of God’s Word.
“It is the same with my word, I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it.”
—Isaiah 55:11 NLT
With that in mind, here are several of the affirmations I recite on a daily basis (with Scriptural references included). I’ve omitted some of the more personal ones.
Neuroscientist, Dr. Caroline Leaf says it only takes about 7 minutes a day of directed, intentional thinking for 63 days to renew our mind. [5]
Your affirmations will obviously look different than mine. I share the following only as an example, certainly not as an expert. I’m still very much in process. But I am convinced that as I declare these promises from God over my life, God is changing my circumstances, and more importantly, He is changing me.
My Daily Affirmations
Updated November 2022
- I am a dearly loved child of God! I was loved, accepted and chosen by God before He created the world. My Father delights in me (John 1:12; 3:16; Rom 5:8; 8:16; 15:7; Eph 1:4,11; 2:4-5; Matt 3:17).
- I am a new creation — a brand new person. My old life is gone. A new life has begun. My God makes everything new. Because of that, I am a new man with a new attitude, a new outlook, a new marriage and a new life (2 Cor 5:17; Rev 21:5).
- I am a devoted and sacrificially loving husband. I am “courteously reverent to my wife.” My love for Janet is “marked by giving, not by getting.” I love my wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. My love for Janet “makes her whole.” My words “evoke her beauty.” All of my attitudes and actions are designed to “bring the best out of her.” I champion her dreams! I cheer her on when she takes steps of faith and obedience! I listen, grieve with her and provide grace when she falls or fails. I run to extend forgiveness whenever it is needed. I am her best friend and closest ally (Ephesians 5:21-28 MSG).
- I am a good dad and granddad. I love, laugh, play, have fun with and enjoy my children and grandchildren. I provide an example to my kids that they can follow. I do not “exasperate them by coming down hard on them. Instead, I take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master.” When Jesus calls me home, my children will say with confidence, “Dad loved Jesus well. He loved mom well. He loved us well” (Eph 6:1-4).
- I am a good friend. A good friend “loves at all times.” I am faithful and diligent in my relationships providing love, grace, mercy, encouragement, affirmation, challenges and accountability to the people God has placed in my relational world (Prov 17:17; 27:17; Ephesians 4:29-32).
- I am resilient. No weapon fashioned against me will succeed. Every voice raised up to accuse me will be silenced. This is my heritage as a servant of God! I lovingly persevere in the face of criticism, developing tough skin while maintaining a soft and tender heart (Isa 54:17).
- I am an overcomer! I am “born of God and overcome the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even my faith”! At the end of the day, I overcome. I am “more than a conqueror through the one who loved me and gave Himself for me”! I will not go silently. I will stand defiantly against the evil one, every demon, this world system, conventional wisdom, cultural pressure, my flesh and every critic, pointing faithfully to my redeemer and the source of strength (1 Jn 5:4; Rom 8:37).
- I am a man with a purpose — created on purpose, for a purpose. I am God’s masterpiece, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God planned for me long ago (Pro 16:4; Jer 29:11; Ps 33:11, 52:2; Eph 2:10).
- I have the mind of Christ. I choose to fill my mind and fix my thoughts on things that are true, noble, honorable, right, pure, lovely, admirable, authentic, compelling, gracious — the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not to curse. Whatever is lovely, good, virtuous and praiseworthy — I fill my mind and fix my thoughts on these things (1 Corinthians 2:16; Philippians 4:8).
- I am healthy — spirit, soul, mind and body. I am fit. I am strong. I am in the best shape of my life. By the stripes of Jesus, I am healed. By the word of God, I am whole. I honor Jesus with the spirit, soul, mind and body He has given me by eating things that fuel me for excellence, by exercising to gain strength, increase flexibility, endurance and longevity, and by resting in a way that reveals my trust and faith in God (Isaiah 53:5; 1 Peter 2:24; Psalm 107:2;1 Cor 6:19-20; Rom 12:1; 1 Cor 10:31; 1 Tim 4:8; Phil 1:20).
- I am wealthy and generous. “My home overflows with wealth and a generosity that never runs dry” (Ps 112:3 MSG).
- I am a wise builder. “Wise people are builders — they build families, businesses, communities. Through their intelligence and insight their enterprises are established and endure” (Pro 24:3 TPT).
- I am more than blessed. “God Himself will fill you with more. Blessings upon blessings will be heaped upon you and upon your children from the maker of heaven and earth, the very God who made you” (Ps 115:14-15 TPT).
- I am just, merciful and humble. “He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8 NIV)
- I am successful (Josh 1:8). “Roll your works upon the Lord [commit and trust them wholly to Him; He will cause your thoughts to become agreeable to His will, and] so shall your plans be established and succeed” (Pro 16:3 AMPC).
- I am focused and I am a finisher! “I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us” (Phil 3:13-14 NLT).
- I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength (Phil 4:13).
- Because of Jesus, I am holy and I am whole (Heb 2:11, 13:12; 1 Thes 5:23).
- Because of Jesus, I am capable (Phil 4:13).
- Because of Jesus, I am creative (Gen 1:27; Ex 35:35; Rom 12:6; Col 3:23).
- Because of Jesus, I am strong (2 Cor 12:10; 2 Thess 3:3; 1 Cor 16:13; Hab 3:19; Eph 6:10; Ps 29:11; Ps 46:1-3; Ps 73:26; Isa 40:28-31; Neh 8:10).
- Because of Jesus, I am steadfast and immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord (1 Cor 15:58)
- Because of Jesus, I am making a difference (Matt 28:19-20; Eph 2:10).
- Because of Jesus, I am never alone (Deut 31:6; Josh 1:5, 9; Isa 41:10; Jn 14:18).
- Because of Jesus, I am in the right place at the right time (Ps 37:3; Ecc 3:1; 9:11; 2 Cor 6:2).
- Because of Jesus, every dream that God has given me is coming to pass (Ephesians 3:20-21; Ps 37:14).
The God started this good work in me has promised that He will be faithful to carry it to completion (Phil 1:6).
If I’m not dead, God is not done.
He will complete His purpose and plans for my life (Ps 57:2).
These are the promises of God over my life!
This is the word of God over my life!
I declare all of this in the mighty name of Jesus!
If, as D. Martin Lloyd-Jones once said, “most of our unhappiness in life is due to the fact that we are listening to ourselves instead of talking to ourselves;” perhaps more breakthrough, joy, healing, hope and victory will come as we begin to speak God’s Word over our circumstances, marriage, family, relationships and life.
Maybe it’s time to do what Dr. Gills defined as the secret to his success?
“I’ve learned to talk to myself, instead of listening to myself.”
—Dr. James Gills
Stop LISTENING to yourself and start TALKING to yourself today.
Author: Chris Goins
November 14, 2022
[1] D. Martin Lloyd-Jones, Spiritual Depression: It’s Causes and Cure, pp 20-21.
[2] https://impacttheory.com/episode/trevor-moawad/
[3] https://positivepsychology.com/daily-affirmations/
[4] https://positivepsychology.com/daily-affirmations/
[5] Dr. Caroline Leaf, Think, Learn and Succeed, p 45, Kindle Ed