“Don’t hide yourself in regret,
Just love yourself and you’re set,
I’m on the right track, baby,
I was born this way!”
—Lady Gaga and Jeppe Laursen
In this post we’ll wrap up this series of blogs with three additional aspects of a framework for thinking about issues related to sex and sexuality.
5. The impact of sin was devastating. “The fall” affected every aspect of our personhood, including our sexuality.
While Genesis 2 describes the beauty of God’s original intention, Genesis 3 describes what happened when sin entered the picture. Theologians refer to the events described in Genesis 3 as “the fall.” The chapter gives us a vivid description and definition of the pervasive effects of sin upon humanity.
In case you haven’t read the story, after placing Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, God gave them one simple, straight-forward command involving a tree (Gen 2:15-17). He didn’t give them 613 rules. He gave them one, non-negotiable command.
…the Lord God warned him, “You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden— 17 except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die.” —Gen 2:16-17 NLT
Have you ever wondered, “Why a tree?” I mean, “Why didn’t God tell Adam and Eve, ‘Hey guys, don’t kill. Don’t steal. Don’t commit adultery. Avoid the Big Three…?’ Why not give them a moral absolute? That would make sense, right? Why does God begin by giving the first two humans an amoral command involving fruit from a specific tree?”
Here’s what some believe. They believe it’s because through this command God was saying to them, “Hey kids. I want you to obey me, not because it always makes sense to you. I want you to obey me, not because it’s useful to you. I want you to obey me simply because I am God and you are not.”
“I want you to obey me simply because I am God
and you are not.”
“Your obedience in keeping this command is a demonstration of your trust — that you trust that my heart is for you, not against you. And, if right at the outset, you learn to trust me, obey me and live as if I am God and you are not, you’ll enjoy and experience ‘shalom’.”
Scholar and theologian, Cornelius Plantinga, Jr. writes that the word “shalom” is a biblical idea that refers “the way God wants things to be” or “the way things ought to be.” He goes on to explain that is “the violation or vandalism of shalom.” [1]
His description of what occurred when sin entered the picture is powerful.
“The story of the fall tells us that sin corrupts: it puts asunder what God had joined together and joins together what God had put asunder. Like some devastating twister, corruption both explodes and implodes creation, pushing it back toward the “formless void” from which it came.” ―Cornelius Plantinga Jr.[2]
God lovingly challenges Adam and Eve. “Obey me and you’ll experience ‘shalom.’ You’ll experience life the way I meant it to be. You’ll experience peace with me, peace with yourself, peace with one another, and peace with creation.”
Of course we know the story, even if not raised in church. Adam and Eve blew it! Instead of trusting God’s heart, they believed Satan’s lie. They made a decision to rebel against a good and loving God who had such big and beautiful plans for His creation.
When they made that decision, the perfect shalom they had experienced up to this point was broken and marred. For the first time in history, sin entered the universe and its impact was cosmic, catastrophic, comprehensive and devastating. Plantinga nailed the impact of it in his description. Everything started to explode, implode and unravel.
Some of the immediate by-products of Adam and Eve’s sin were things like self-consciousness, shame, blame, insecurity, fear, guilt and a fractured relationship with God and with one another. But the impact was even more comprehensive…
The Fallout of the Fall
Where there was once only health, now there was disease, sickness, suffering, genetic disorders and aging.
Where the was once only fulfillment and satisfaction, now there was the reality of frustration, disappointment and discontent.
Where there used to be unity and oneness, now there was division, distance, shame, blame, ego and power plays.
Where there was once only life, now there was the reality of death — and everything that precedes it.
Where there used to be shalom — everything was the way God wanted them to be — the way they ought to be. We had peace with God, peace with ourselves — there was no internal conflict, peace with one another — no selfishness, distance or disconnects, and peace with creation — no thorns, violent weather patterns or upheaval in the world. But now, there was brokenness. Brokenness with God, with ourselves, with people and with creation.
Shame became pervasive (3:7).
Cover-ups to mask our vulnerability and insecurity became standard operating procedure (3:7).
We began to hide from God and one another (3:8).
Blame became a default mechanism for rationalizing personal sin and destruction actions (3:12-13).
Relationships became work.
Work became frustrating (3:17-19).
Pregnancy and child-bearing became difficult and challenging (3:16).
Human bodies began to age and became susceptible to sickness and disease.
But most devastating, our sin created a huge chasm between ourselves and a God is loving, but also holy and just. For the time in history, we were separated and alienated from God.
The Impact of What Went Down In Genesis 3
If you’ve ever wondered, “Why do husbands and wives who start out so passionately in love with one another at the marriage altar, drift and become so bitter and distant later in life?” Genesis 3 explains.
“Why is work so frustrating? Why is there so much conflict and drama in the office?” Genesis 3.
“Why do random acts of nature wreak havoc in our world?” Genesis 3.
“Why do senseless acts of violence occur so frequently?” Genesis 3.
“Why do incredibly bad things happen to good, decent people?” Genesis 3.
“Why are my passions and desires so disordered and such a mess?” Genesis 3.
Fallen, Messed Up People Living In A
Fallen, Messed Up World
Joe Dallas is a prolific author, conference speaker and ordained pastoral counselor who directs a Biblical counseling center for people struggling with issues related to sex and sexuality.
A former, practicing gay man, Joe believes that “the fall” is why David’s statement in Psalm 51 and Paul’s teaching in Romans 5 are crucial in helping us understand LGBTQ type issues, even though those subjects aren’t mentioned explicitly in either passage.[3]
According to Joe, the fact that we are “fallen, messed up people” who live in a “fallen, messed up world” helps explain why something the Bible describes as sinful can “feel” perfectly natural to us, and why things that are “right” and “good” in the eyes of God can feel so unnatural and even, difficult.
Since Genesis 3, we are all fallen, messed up people who live in a fallen, messed up world.
5 Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
—Ps 51:5 NIV
12 When Adam sinned, the entire world was affected. Sin entered human experience, and death was the result. And so death followed this sin, casting its shadow over all humanity, because all have sinned. —Rom 5:12 TPT (Cf Rom 5:15b, 17)
Maybe you’re asking, “But, Chris, how does all of this affect sex and sexuality?”
Because it reminds us that we are broken, messed up people who live in in a very broken, messed up world, and part of that brokenness also affects our sexuality. The fall expresses itself differently in different people. We are all born with a sinful nature, and the way that nature expresses itself is unique to every individual.
The fifth aspect of this framework is
The impact of sin was devastating. “The fall” affected every aspect of our personhood, including our sexuality.
6. Jesus loves us unconditionally and relentlessly. He gave His life to make us whole.
When you read through the Gospels that describe the ministry of Jesus, you discover some interesting things about the way He did life and ministry.
Jesus didn’t label people. He loved people. He regularly hung out with rebels and sinners. He had conversations with prostitutes and people who had been defined by their sexual past.
Jesus loved outcasts and rejects. He loved people of different nationalities and races. He refused to allow anyone — including the religious community — to draw a box and put parameters, walls or boundaries around the extent of His love and grace.
People Who Were Nothing Like Jesus
Actually Liked Jesus
Attracted by the way He loved and accepted people, crowds of people who were nothing like Jesus actually liked Jesus. In fact, they flocked to Him in droves! This freaked the religious community completely out! So, in Luke 15, Jesus told a series of stories to describe the way He loved people.
Tax collectors and other notorious sinners often came to listen to Jesus teach. 2 This made the Pharisees and teachers of religious law complain that he was associating with such sinful people—even eating with them! 3 So Jesus told them this story…
—Luke 15:1-3 NLT
In fact, He told them three stories. All three stories had the same punch line or big idea! People matter to God!
People matter to God!
People so much to God that He will leave the 99 to search for the one missing sheep. He’ll light a candle and sweep the room to search for the one missing coin. And, He’ll keep vigil on the front porch until His wayward, wondering child come to their senses and decides it’s time to come home.
Dallas Willard once described God’s heart like this:
“If you want to know what God’s address is, it’s at the end of your rope.” —Dallas Willard
This is God’s heart for you! It’s God’s heart for me, regardless of where we land on these issues.
Sin came into this world when man attempted to take the place of God. But sin was defeated in this world, on the Cross, when God took the place of man.
On the cross, Jesus became our substitute. He never sinned, but on the cross He was made sin for us. Think of it.
On the cross, Jesus exchanged His perfection for our imperfection,
His obedience for our disobedience,
His intimacy with the Father for our distance from God the Father,
His blessing for our curse,
His life for our death!
If you’ve blown it in any of these areas of life, God wants to do more than forgive you! He wants to restore, redeem and heal you! Wherever there is pain, brokenness, frustration, anger and loss; God wants to bring healing, redemption, restoration and wholeness.
1 Corinthians 6 contains an incredible statement.
9 Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men 10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. —1 Cor 6:9-10 NIV
Before you jump to conclusions, do you find yourself on that list? I’m on the list. I’m not going to tell you where, but I’m on the list. I don’t deserve to be part of the kingdom of God.
This is full disclosure about the church I lead. A2 Church is a colossal collection of sinners. When you visit A2 Church, you probably need to be aware that you’re in some really bad company. There are people who are a part of our community who have battled issues like pride, greed, lust, porn, alcoholism, profanity, gossip, lying, stealing, deceit and various forms of heterosexual sin.
And, while same sex sexual activity is defined as “sin” in God’s eyes, it’s not “the sin.” In fact, in at two of the places it gets mentioned (1 Cor 6; 1 Tim 1), it appears in the middle of a list of sins.
Further, the Bible never labels a particular sexual orientation or attraction or temptation as sin. The Bible is very specific on this issue and addresses behavior — or the deliberate, willful, physical engagement or action in these areas.
In one way or another, every person reading this post has likely been a sexual “sinner” in one way or another. I mean think about the implications of the statement Jesus made in Matthew 5:28.
But what is amazing about the above passage in 1 Corinthians 6, is that after listing a variety of sins, Paul writes these astonishing words…
“…that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” —1 Cor 6:9-10 NIV
On top of that, 2 Corinthians 5:17 makes this incredible statement about what God wants for all of us.
17 This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! —2 Cor 5:17 NLT
The hope of the gospel is not only that we can be forgiven, but that we can be “washed, cleansed, sanctified, made holy, whole and justified in the name of Jesus and by the Spirit of God.” We can become a “new person!” Shalom can be restored.
The concept of shalom also carries the idea of God setting things right. We can know what it means to once again experience peace with God, with ourselves and with other people. We can be whole — body, soul, mind and spirit.
Once again, I love what Cornelius Plantinga, Jr. says about this when He writes:
“To speak of sin by itself, to speak of it apart from the realities of creation and grace, is to forget the resolve of God. God wants shalom and will pay any price to get it back. Human sin is stubborn, but not as stubborn as the grace of God and not half so persistent.” —Cornelius Plantinga [4]
But sin didn’t, and doesn’t, have a chance in competition with the aggressive forgiveness we call grace. When it’s sin versus grace, grace wins hands down.
—Romans 5:20 MSG
Colossians 1:20 in The Message contains another amazing promise. Regardless of who you are or what your personal brokenness is, listen to these words by a guy named Paul. He writes:
…all the broken and dislocated pieces of the universe—people and things, animals and atoms—get properly fixed and fit together in vibrant harmonies, all because of his death, his blood that poured down from the cross. —Colossians 1:20 MSG
That includes me. That includes you! We may feel “broken and dislocated,” but because of Jesus, we get “properly fixed and fit together in vibrant harmonies.” That’s the hope of the gospel.
Maybe at this point, you’re pushing back and thinking to yourself, “Chris, don’t you think that the biblical boundaries of human sexuality are limiting? I mean, if I buy in to what God says, doesn’t that mean I’ll have to live a life of strict self-denial? Is that the offer that’s on the table?”
I’m glad you asked.
C.S. Lewis wrote about this in his book, The Weight of Glory, with these words:
“The New Testament has lots to say about self-denial, but not about self-denial as an end in itself. We are told to deny ourselves and to take up our crosses in order that we may follow Christ; and nearly every description of what we shall ultimately find if we do so contain an appeal to desire. If there lurks in most modern minds the notion that to desire our own good and earnestly to hope for the enjoyment of it is a bad thing, I submit that this notion has crept in from Kant and the Stoics and is no part of the Christian faith. Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak.
“We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” —C.S. Lewis [5]
The invitation of the gospel is not to a life of strict stoicism, discipline or self-denial. It is the invitation to find and experience in Jesus what your soul and spirit long to experience. The return of shalom.
The sixth aspect of our framework is to realize the amazing reality that Jesus loves us unconditionally and relentlessly. He gave His live to make us whole! He gave us His life to restore shalom.
This brings us to the seventh aspect of our framework.
7. The church of Jesus must respond to the current conversation with grace and truth, loving people unconditionally and speaking truth courageously.
Maybe you’re asking, “Chris, are you saying that the church should open its doors to LGBTQIA+ people?”
Quite frankly, the question isn’t, “Will the church open its doors to let LGBTQIA+ people in? They’re already here.”
The question is, “Will the church balance biblical conviction with personal compassion? Will we create a safe place where broken, messed up people — and we are ALL broken, messed up people — can receive grace and walk together towards wholeness?”
Will the church step up and lead with grace and speak the truth in love?
Whether it’s popular, chic, avant-garde, politically correct or not, the church is called to do exactly what Jesus did. He was “full of grace and truth” (John 1:14, 17). He spoke “the truth in love” (Eph 4:15). It’s essential that we do both!
As followers of Jesus, our truth source isn’t found in surveys, public opinion polls, pop music or conventional wisdom. It’s found in God’s Word. It’s found in the Bible. In fact, we say it like this in one of our core values at A2 Church.
An A2 Church CORE Value
God’s Word: is our authority — The Bible is our ultimate authority and is uniquely God inspired. We will always seek to be true to God’s Word and present His unchanging truth to our changing world.
(2 Tim 3:16-17; Heb 4:12; Matt 5:17-19; Isa 55:11; 1 Thes 2:13)
Don’t miss the first line of that value: God’s Word is our authority.
If that’s true, we can’t just keep the verses we like — the verses that make sense to us — and get rid of the passages we don’t like — those that make us a little squeamish or uncomfortable.
Further, we can’t conform the teaching of this book to our attitudes and actions; we have to conform our attitudes and actions to the teaching of this book.
We can’t conform the teaching of the Bible to our attitudes and actions. We have to conform our attitudes and actions to the teaching of the Bible.
With that in mind, let’s respond to the current conversation as people who have been saved by grace and formed by truth. Let’s love people unconditionally and sacrificially. Let’s speak truth courageously and humbly.
It’s my prayer that these seven aspects that provide a framework for thinking through issues related to sex and sexuality will assist you in your pursuit of wholeness.
- People matter to God and ought to matter to you and me.
- Every human being was created in the image of God and should be treated with honor, dignity and decency.
- Love and acceptance aren’t synonymous with agreement or approval.
- God’s original design for humanity was male and female. He called His creation “very good.”
- The impact of sin was devastating. It affected every aspect of our personhood, including our sexuality.
- Jesus loves us unconditionally and relentlessly and gave His life to make us whole.
- The church of Jesus must respond to the current conversation with grace and truth, loving people unconditionally and speaking truth courageously.
[1] Cornelius Plantinga Jr., Not the Way It’s Supposed to Be : A Breviary of Sin
[2] Cornelius Plantinga Jr., Not the Way It’s Supposed to Be : A Breviary of Sin
[3] Joe Dallas, When Homosexuality Hits Home
[4] Cornelius Plantinga, Not the Way It’s Supposed to Be
[5] Lewis, C. S.. Weight of Glory (Collected Letters of C.S. Lewis) (pp. 26-27). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.