“You could say I lost my belief in the holy Church.” —Sting
In the previous blog we began to share FOUR TRUTHS we need to remember when we feel like we’re “deconstructing.” In this blog, I’ll share TRUTH #2. (Check out the previous two entries for more in this series.)
TRUTH #2: It’s critical to recognize the difference between a “PEOPLE” WOUND and a “GOD” WOUND.
David could have easily labeled the betrayal of Saul and Absalom as betrayal by God. But he refused to confuse the two. Notice how he begins this psalm.
In the Lord I take refuge. [In the Lord I put my trust.] —Ps 11:1
I love the way The Message translates Verse 1.
I’ve already run for dear life straight to the arms of God. —Ps 11:1 MSG
When David could have felt like he was deconstructing, he ran to God, not away from God. He didn’t define the wounds he had received at the hands of people, as hurt or wounds from God.
When it comes to most, if not all, of the “deconstruction” stories making the news, it’s interesting that many of them aren’t the byproduct of discovering some kind of new or overwhelming evidence that refutes the central truths of the Christian faith. People don’t usually deconstruct because of Christ. They deconstruct because of Christians.
Read that again…
People don’t usually deconstruct because of Christ.
They deconstruct because of Christians.
People tend to “deconstruct” because of some kind of hurt or wound perpetrated on them by a Christian.
In fact, the “Christianity” some people are rejecting isn’t Christianity at all, it’s someone associated with “church” or “Christianity”.
It’s very common in 2021 to hear people talk about how they’ve been “hurt by the church.” Many times the hurt is real, genuine and deep.
It’s really important to recognize and realize that the same faith family that gave us the good news is the same family that gave us some news, experiences and wounds that weren’t so good.
Every one of us have been given the gospel by a community that is marked with flaws and failures — by men and women who are broken, jacked-up and capable of wounding us more deeply than we care to imagine.
Wounded By The Church?
For as long as I can remember, I’ve “loved” the church. Absolutely loved it! Throughout my adult life, I have served in a variety of capacities in the church — from children’s pastor, to associate pastor and now lead pastor. When it comes to “earth side things,” after my love for my wife, family and a few close friends, I would list the church of Jesus as one of the “loves of my life.” I can’t overstate my deep affection for this beautiful thing called “the church.”
But… But… But, people in the church have also hurt and wounded me in ways that mark my life today.
Jacob ended up with a limp he lived with for the rest of his life as a result of a wrestling match with God (Gen 32:30-32). In some ways, I have “limps” I will carry for the rest of my life that have come as a result of “wrestling matches” with people in the church. Not literal wrestling matches, mind you. But the reality of being emotionally wounded, psychologically scarred, relationally hurt by people in Jesus’ church. There are insecurities, inadequacies, idiosyncrasies and aspects of brokenness in me that will mark me forever — all a result of people in the church. By the way, this is the reality of every pastor I know that is not a complete narcissist.
I should also point out that I also carry wounds, hurts and scars from “injuries” I’ve received from people with no connection to the church at all.
All of this brings me to this conclusion:
People hurt people.
It’s just part of what we do. It’s part of the way we’re wired. I do it. You do it, too.
To my embarrassment and even shame, I have to admit, that there are people who carry wounds today that I’m personally responsible for. I powered up on them in an argument. I divulged a confidence that was trusted to my care. I became angry and took my anger out on them.
Imagine that? The shepherd wounding sheep entrusted to his care. It happens. I’ve done it. In fact, every pastor has done it. Not intentionally. It’s just part of what it means to be human. To be flawed.
I point all of this out because when we talk about being “hurt by the church,” I sometimes wonder if we’re talking about being “hurt by the church” or hurt by a broken, messed-up, jacked-up, imperfect someone in the church… Someone just acting the way people act… Doing the things that people do.
People hurt people. Hurting people hurt them even more. In this broken world, it’s very probable that someone has hurt you. Sometimes that hurt even happens within this thing called the church.
At this point, maybe you’re thinking, “Well, why even bother? Why bother with church? Why bother with relationships at all?”
As usual, C.S. Lewis nailed this when he wrote:
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.
To love is to be vulnerable.” —C.S. Lewis
Love requires vulnerability. Vulnerability requires risk. Risk always involves hurt and loss. But, in the end, it’s worth it. Worth it to experience love, acceptance and belonging — even from a flawed person or an imperfect community.
The Prodigal and His Older Brother
In Luke 15 Jesus shared the story of the prodigal son, where the youngest son left the home of a loving Father and pursued a life without restraint. He completely deconstructed.
A question that we often fail to ask is: Why? Why would the youngest son ever leave the safety and security of the Father’s house? Why?
Let me offer a suggestion. Maybe it was because he got sick and tired of the hurt, wounds, criticism and judgmentalism inflicted on him by the oldest brother?
It’s a possibility.
Are people leaving our churches today because of similar wounds they’ve received?
Two Challenges from Jude
The short book of Jude has two challenges the church needs to pay close attention to in these moments. The first challenge appears in Jude 1:3.
…I felt compelled to write and urge you to contend for the faith that was once for all entrusted to God’s holy people. —Jude 1:3 NIV
The Message translates this passage as follows:
…fight with everything you have in you for this faith entrusted to us
as a gift to guard and cherish. —Jude 1:3 MSG
This is one of the things we’ll attempt to do throughout this series of blogs. We’ll “contend” or “fight.” What I mean by that is that we’ll attempt to provide clear, concise, biblical answers to a variety of the challenges coming against historic Christianity.
On one hand, we need to “contend” or “fight with everything [we] have for this faith…” That’s the first challenge.
But the second challenge shows up in Verse 22.
“…you must show mercy to those whose faith is wavering.” —Jude 1:22 NLT
The word “mercy” can be translated “compassion.” The church must lead with compassion, even and especially in our “contending” and “fighting.”
This is not a moment for the church to de-legitimize the pain that some have experienced within the church. It’s time for us to lovingly, graciously and humbly speak into that pain through the power of the Holy Spirit.
Christians don’t have to demonize or glamorize doubt.
We can simply acknowledge it.
It’s very interesting that in some conservative Christian circles DOUBT is regularly demonized. While in today’s progressive Christian circles DOUBT is often glamorized. It’s the thing you’ve got to have to be considered, “legit.”
What if we refused to demonize or glamorize doubt? What if we could just become loving and gracious enough to acknowledge it?
The great Oswald Chambers once wrote,
“Doubt is not always a sign that a man is wrong. It may be a sign that he is thinking.” —Oswald Chambers
What if we got to the place where we were able to acknowledge the questions and doubts some in our communities are struggling with, creating a safe place for them to process through them?
Don’t call him, “Doubting Thomas”
It’s interesting that Thomas, who initially doubted because he wasn’t in the house when Jesus showed up after his resurrection (John 20:19-29), felt safe enough with his doubts to actually keep coming back to the same house.
In some circles today, Thomas would have just gone AWOL because he would have felt like the community he was a part of wasn’t a safe place to share his doubts and still stay connected.
Are we creating an environment that is safe enough so that those who are struggling with doubt can stay?
What’s amazing is that Thomas would eventually work through his doubts, completely recommit to his faith, kneel at Jesus’ feet and declare, “My Lord and my God” (Jn 20:28). His life would be so radically transformed that he would actually spend the rest of his life as a missionary to India, before being martyred for his faith.
There are actually churches in south India today whose roots can be traced back to the beginning of the church age, and, tradition says that these churches were founded by Thomas.
If you’ve ever met an Indian with the last name, “Thomas,” they’re part of His legacy. Thomas didn’t leave a legacy of doubt. He left a legacy of persevering faith.
Our Vision for A2 Church
I have a vision for A2 Church… I’ve been sharing that vision for years… I say it like this…
A2 Church is a messy church! It’s filled with messy, broken people, and we wouldn’t have it any other way!
The church Jesus came to launch was never designed to encourage, comfort, entertain, inspire and challenge exclusively “churched,” basically moral, incredibly “neat”, “we-have-it-all-together” people!
It was never meant to be a monument, social club or museum for the display of perfect people! It was meant to be REAL! It was meant to be a hell-shattering, earth-moving, life-changing, culture-shaping movement that would reach people who are broken, messed-up, jacked-up and share a common problem: distance from God and confusion about God.
The church was meant to be a hospital where hurting, broken, and messed up people could move towards wholeness! (See Luke 15; Matthew 9:10-13)
A2 Church isn’t a place for perfection, it’s a place for progress.
This church exists to help imperfect people meet Jesus and follow Him step by step. Our imperfections are not projects to fix, but opportunities to see a miracle.
This doesn’t mean we have to remain stuck in an orbit of regret, failure, sin, habits, hurts, hang-ups and brokenness for the rest of our lives! God loves us just the way we are, but He refuses to leave us here! His agenda is to make us more and more like Jesus! (Romans 12:2; 2 Corinthians 5:17; 11:1; Ephesians 4:22-24; Philippians 3:13-14)
So, if you’re looking for a perfect or “safe” church, sorry. A2 Church is not it! But if you’re looking for a church where REAL PEOPLE who struggle with REAL PROBLEMS are learning to TRUST JESUS to change us from the inside out, WELCOME HOME!
If you struggle with doubt, disappointment, regret, guilt and shame… If you ever feel the gap between who you could be, who you should be and who you really are.. If you are broken, messed-up, jacked-up, and prone to failure… If you are flawed and glaringly imperfect… If you sometimes drift into self-righteousness and pride… Welcome home! A2 Church is the place for you!
A2 Church is a “come as you are,” “no perfect people allowed” kind of community!
So COME!
Come as you are with your doubts, questions and deconstruction!
Come as you are with your fears and insecurities!
Come as you are with your agnosticism or atheism!
Come as you are with your broken heart and messy life!
Come as you are with your relational pain and problems!
Comes as you are with your addictions, habits, hurts, and hang-ups!
Comes as you are with the divorce that has left you gasping for air!
Come as you are with your financial meltdowns or bankruptcy!
Come as you are with your skin color, social status and identity issues!
Come as you are with your sins, past, struggles, mistakes, imperfections and idiosyncrasies!
It doesn’t matter whether you’re loaded or broke! It doesn’t matter if you’re white, black, brown, red or albino! It doesn’t matter whether you’ve got a lot of hair, no hair, purple hair or patches of hair! It doesn’t matter whether you wear nice clothes or lousy clothes (just as long as you wear clothes)…
Come as you are!!!
Why? Because at A2 Church, we’re just crazy enough to believe that God loves and accepts us just the way we are, but loves us so much that He refuses to leave us the way He found us!
Some Questions To Ask
Are you part of a Christ-centered, Scripture-teaching community of believers that love you despite your questions, doubts and fears and allow you to process them in the context of community?
Are you willing to allow those close to you to “speak truth in love” to you regarding some of the ideologies you’re starting to buy into?
The first TWO TRUTHS we need to remember when we feel like we’re deconstructing are:
TRUTH #1: Crisis doesn’t build character or faith, it reveals them.
TRUTH #2: It’s critical to recognize the difference between a “people” wound and a “God” wound.
In our next blog, we’ll share the THIRD TRUTH that’s critical to remember in times like this.