History and fiction are filled with stories of couples who did some pretty incredible stuff.
- Cleopatra and Mark Antony
- Romeo and Juliet
- Han and Leia
- Rose and Jack
- Mr. Incredible and Elstagirl
- JFK and Jackie O
- MLK and Coretta Scott King
- Beyonce and Jay-Z
- Will and Jada
- Johnny and June Cash
- Sonny and Cher
Okay, maybe I was being little generous with Sonny and Cher… But you get the point…
The Bible contains some pretty dynamic, power couples, as well.
- Adam and Eve
- Abraham and Sarah
- Isaac and Rebekah
- Jacob and Rachel (and Leah, and Zlipah and Bilhah). Yeah, that wasn’t a model marriage.
- Moses and Zipporah
- Ruth and Boaz
- David and Bathsheba (Before that Michal, Abigail, Ahinoam,
- Maacah, Haggith, Abital and Eglah, then Bathsheba… (And, you thought you had a dysfunctional family?)
- King Xerxes and Esther
- Mary and Joseph
But one of the coolest marriages in the Bible is a marriage that doesn’t get much press. It’s seldom mentioned. But, the few times it is mentioned it’s mentioned in some pretty glowing terms. I’m talking about a married couple named Priscilla and Aquilla.
PRISCILLA and AQUILLA
These are not names out of a book by Dr. Seuss. They sound like it though, don’t they? Just think about it.
Priscilla and Aquila were the origina guerrilla warriors
for the gospel of God.
Instead of sipping sarsaparilla while hanging out in Manilla,
they became part of the first century God squad.
That’s my best attempt at a Dr. Suess imitation.
They were the original “power couple.” That phrase usually refers to a couple made up of two people who are each influential or successful in their own right. But when I refer to Priscilla and Aquila as the original “power couple,” I’m not referring to their wealth, social status, political power or clout. Here’s what I’m talking about.
Priscilla and Aquilla:
- had a dynamic relationship with Jesus,
- were filled with the Holy Spirit,
- were devoted students of God’s Word,
- were deeply in love with one another,
- had a thriving marriage,
- had an unstoppable gift of inclusivity and hospitality,
- had a life-giving, almost two-decade long friendship with Paul,
- were mentors to gifted young leaders like Apollos,
- were passionate about reaching people with the gospel of Jesus, and,
- were incredible pastors and leaders in at least two house churches in the first century (1 Cor 16:19; Rom 16).
Without this couple, the first century church may have not turned out like it did.
GERONIMO! RISK and RISE!
I’ve titled this series of posts on Priscilla and Aquila, “GERONIMO! RISK and RISE!”
You’re probably aware that “Geronimo!” was the name of a very famous native American military leader from the 1850’s. According to History.com, the name took on new life long after Geronimo’s death, when paratroopers in World War II yelled “Geronimo!” just before jumping out of a plane, evidently in reference to the great warrior’s fearlessness and bravery. [1]
Here’s my best definition of what “Geronimo!” is all about:
Geronimo is a term that is shouted with excitement and enthusiasm just before someone does something risky, adventurous or courageous.
Just before someone jumps out of or into something…
It was re-introduced to the public in 2014 in the sleeper hit single, Geronimo, by an Australian band called Sheppard. It’s a solid pop song about taking a courageous leap into the unknown. [2]
It’s a great word for any discussion on relationships. Because relationships — any relationship — whether it’s a dating, marriage, friendship, small group or a friend at work — every relationship always comes with risks.
Relationships involve a series of jumping out of or into things all the time. Things like communication, intimacy, conflict and forgiveness.
Let’s jump into four “Geronimo!” principles from the relational life of Priscilla and Aquilla. We’ll cover one in this post.
Are you ready? On the count of 1, 2, 3!
“Geronimo! Let’s jump in.”
Four “Geronimo!” Principles from the Relational Life of Priscilla and Aquila
PRINCIPLE #1: Marriage is about FRIENDSHIP. It may be more, but it can’t be less.
Priscilla and Aquilla get mentioned six times in four different books in the New Testament. (See Acts 18:1-3, 18, 26; Rom 16:3; 1 Cor 16:19; and 2 Tim 4:19.)
Every time they’re mentioned, they were together. It’s just the way they approached life. They give us a picture of a first century marriage that was evidently hitting on all cylinders.
A Challenge To Single Men and Women
Those of you who are reading and are single, please don’t check out. Whether you’re single or single again, for the next few minutes, I’m going to write about marriage. Here’s why I want you to hang with me.
First of all, many of the things I’m going to mention can be applied to other relationships, as well. Some of them can’t, but most do. Second, while I would never assume that every single man or woman wants to get married, at some point, you may? These principles will be incredibly important then.
So, here’s the first principle again:
Marriage is about FRIENDSHIP. It may be more, but it can’t be less.
Sexual attraction and physical passion may be important. But they’re not enough to sustain a marriage that goes the distance. You’ve got to be or be in the process of becoming best friends.
Priscilla and Aquila were friends. They lived together, did ministry together, enjoyed being together and even enjoyed working together. (By the way, that last one may be a miracle of staggering proportions.)
They endured hardship and pain together.
They also overcame and conquered together.
They were inseparable, unstoppable, responsible and phenomenal! (That’s my second attempt at either poetry or rap in the same post. Hats off to NF for the inspiration.)
Priscilla and Aquila supported one another, believed in one another and cheered one another on. They were friends.
Eight Areas That Lead To Intimacy and Togetherness
We have to read some of this into the text, but Priscilla and Aquila checked off all the boxes when it comes to building a life-giving, soul-building friendship (within the context of marriage or outside it). Here’s what I mean…
- They were together emotionally. They shared authentic emotions and feelings with one another. They were candid and vulnerable.
- They were together intellectually. They shared their own ideas and opinions without fear of the potential conflict brought on by differences of opinion.
- They were together creatively. They worked together to discover creative solutions to problems.
Here’s what I mean. Priscilla and Aquila were faced with a variety of problems, challenges and setbacks. For instance, they had to leave Rome in AD 49 when the Emperor Claudius ordered all Jews expelled from the city. They landed on their feet in Corinth, built a successful business and eventually became top level leaders in Paul’s ministry efforts in that city.
They met Paul when he arrived in Corinth around AD 52. They quickly established a life-changing friendship, invited Paul to live with them and join their tentmaking business. They lived, worked with and ministered together with Paul for the next 18 months in Corinth until Paul felt a leading to go to Ephesus to plant a church there. They packed up and went with him, where they faithfully served for the next three years.
Eventually, after the death of the Emperor Claudius, Priscilla and Aquila moved back to Rome to lead a church there. Years passed and when the Emperor Nero began a serious campaign of persecution against Christians in Rome, they moved back to Ephesus.
Here’s the point, they refused to allow the difficulties, challenges and setbacks they experienced in life to keep them from fulfilling their purpose and mission.
On top of that, they understood that it’s not the house (or city or circumstance) that makes a home. It’s the people we call family. So, Priscilla and Aquila made “home” wherever they landed and wherever God’s calling led them… Whether they were in Rome, Corinth, Ephesus, Rome or back in Ephesus, as long as they were TOGETHER and ON MISSION for God, they were “home”. That’s creativity.
- They were together recreationally. They just seemed to enjoy doing things together.
This is so important, married couples.
Dr. Willard Harley is a Christian psychologist who, at one time, directed a network of mental health clinics in Minnesota. Today he and his wife host a daily one-hour radio call-in show called, Marriage Builders Radio. Over a period of 25 years as a marriage counselor he interviewed thousands of couples and discovered the 10 most important emotional needs of husbands and wives. They are discussed in his highly recommended book, His Needs/Her Needs, (Revell, 1986). The book was written in 1986 and updated in 2011. It has sold over 4 million copies.
It’s interesting that the second most important emotional need of most husbands is what Dr. Harley called recreational companionship. In other words, just doing stuff together…
Priscilla and Aquilla enjoyed doing things together. They traveled together, made tents together, ministered together, studied God’s Word together and mentored young leaders together. They were together recreationally.
- They were together professionally. I’ve already mentioned that they actually worked together. They supported one another in their careers.
- They were together in crisis. They stood together against every crisis and challenge life presented them.
I believe this included conflict.
Sometimes people think that a lack of conflict is a sign of spiritual maturity. Not necessarily. Sometimes it’s just a sign of APATHY or INDIFFERENCE.
The issue is not, “Will we ever fight? Will we ever experience conflict?” The issue is, “Will we choose to develop the ability and skills necessary to engage in conflict in a way that makes us better, not bitter? In way that causes us to grow together, not slowly pulls us apart?”
That difference is critical! When people learn to deal with conflict effectively, it can become an incredible opportunity for spiritual and relational GROWTH!
People in “together-type” relationships realize that…
Conflict is the price we pay and the process we go through for INTIMACY.
Conflict is GROWTH trying to happen.
So, say, “Geronimo!” and jump in! Work together towards a solution to the challenges and conflict you are experiencing.
- They were together physically or sexually. They were privy to Paul’s teaching about married sex in 1 Corinthians 6-7 and we can assume that they practiced a healthy approach to married sex in their relationship.
- They were together spiritually. They were both in love with Jesus. In fact, their mutual relationship with Jesus was the defining characteristic of their lives and their marriage.
They seemed to have understood that marriage is a covenant before God with your spouse. They realized that…
The foundation to a life-giving, soul-building marriage is KEEPING GOD AT THE CENTER of your relationship!
That’s what a “together-type” relationship or marriage looks like. It’s about friendship! In marriage, it’s about becoming your spouse’s BEST FRIEND.
Think about it. If you boil down all the practical things involved in building a thriving marriage:
- Spending time together,
- Making memories together,
- Being a good listener,
- Extending and receiving forgiveness,
- Speaking the truth in love,
- Encouragement and affirmation, and, just
- Having a great time…
It could all be summed up in one word: FRIENDSHIP.
I love the way Tim Keller describes marriage in his excellent book, The Meaning of Marriage. He writes:
“When God brought the first man his spouse, he brought him not just a lover but the friend his heart had been seeking.” —Tim Keller, The Meaning of Marriage [3]
Keller then asks,
“What is the purpose for marriage? The Bible’s answer to this question starts with the principle that marriage is a friendship.” —Tim Keller, The Meaning of Marriage [4]
John Gottman is a University of Washington researcher who has spent a lifetime studying and writing about marriage. After years of observation and analysis, Gottman says that he can predict the future success or failure of a marriage with an accuracy rate of over 90%! Furthermore, he says he can make that prediction within just a few minutes of meeting the married couple.
After years of observation, Gottman says that He has identified basic patterns that are marriage PROTECTORS and others that are marriage DESTROYERS, and the most significant marriage PROTECTOR that works for your marriage is a married couple’s ability to be good friends. He writes:
“The determining factor in whether wives feel satisfied with the sex, romance, and passion in their marriage is, by 70 percent, the quality of the couple’s friendship. For men, the determining factor is, by the same 70 percent, the quality of the couple’s friendship.” —Dr. John Gottman, The Seven Principles… [5]
Gottman goes on:
“Happy marriages are based on deep friendship. By this I mean a mutual respect for and enjoyment of each other’s company… Friendship fuels the flames of romance because it offers the best protection against feeling adversarial towards your spouse.” —Dr. John Gottman, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work [6]
Even Nietzsche said this about the importance of friendship in marriage.
“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages”
—Friedrich Nietzsche
Priscilla and Aquilla were friends. They were TOGETHER. That’s the first “Geronimo!” Principle from the relational life of Priscilla and Aquila.
Marriage is about FRIENDSHIP. It may be more, but it can’t be less.
So, say “Geronimo!” and jump in!
In the next post we’ll discuss the next two “Geronimo!” Principles from the inspiring life, story and relationship of Priscilla and Aquila.
[1] https://www.history.com/topics/native-american-history/geronimo
[2] https://youtu.be/UL_EXAyGCkw
[3] Tim Keller, The Meaning of Marriage, p. 108 of 237, Kindle Version
[4] Tim Keller, The Meaning of Marriage, Page 101
[5] Dr. John Gottman, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, p. 19 of 297, Kindle Version.
[6] Dr. John Gottman, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, p. 22 of 297, Kindle Version