Today, we’re going to look at heart of a GOT YOUR SIX, COVENANT RELATIONSHIP.
3. ALLEGIANCE — fierce devotion, steadfast loyalty and a “stick-tu-it-tive-ness” that refuses to quit, period.
Proverbs 17:17 is one of my favorite verses.
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. —Proverbs 17:17 ESV
Read that passage slowly again.
Brothers are friends for all times. But, particularly, the hard times. This is the heart or crux of what covenant relationships are all about. They’re about locking arms and standing with your friends through “hell and high-water.”
Notice that Proverbs 17:17 says, “…a brother [you could safely add sister] is born for adversity.” That speaks to our purpose. Part of the reason we exist is to come alongside a brother or sister and stand with them in the middle of adversity.
That’s why the excuse, “I just don’t have time for relationships or groups,” doesn’t fly for a serious Christ follower. According to Proverbs 17:17, you were born to stand with someone during times of adversity.
This seems to be one of the characteristics that marked the first century church. The Bible says that believers in the first century church were “…devoted to one another” (Acts 2:42-47; Rom 12:10). In other words, they helped each other, prayed for one another, provided for one another, sharpened one another, challenged one another, served one another and encouraged one another!
1 Samuel 18:3-4b contains an amazing description of Jonathan and David’s friendship. I first began studying this passage more than 35 years ago and it continues to be one of my favorite stories in the Bible. It has influenced my thoughts on relationships for literally decades.
Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. —1 Samuel 18:3 ESV
Underline the word “covenant.” It’s the Bible word for what lies at heart of friendship.
The Hebrew word is beriyth and it literally means “to cut.” The implication in 1 Samuel 18:3 is that Jonathan and David entered into a “blood covenant.”
Several scholars and great Bible teachers like the late great, Adrian Rogers, believe that part of this covenant ceremony included slaughtering an animal like a lamb or sheep, severing it’s body — literally cutting it in half — and both parties entering into the covenant, then walking in sort of a “figure eight” around the halves of that animal as if to say, “If I’m ever unfaithful to my word… If I ever break faith in this covenant, may I end up in pieces like this animal. I pledge my allegiance, love, loyalty, dependability — my very life to you…”
The word “friend” is actually a “covenant” word. We tend to use the word very casually in 2021. We’ll call someone “friend” we barely know. We can have 502 “friends” on Facebook, but barely know who any of them are and would never call 498 of them if we were really in trouble.
Yes, the Bible does sometimes use the word “friend” in reference to somewhat casual, acquaintance type relationships. But it also uses the word to describe more serious, covenant, deep-level type friendships. In fact, that’s the kind of friendship referred to in Proverbs 17:17 and later in Proverbs 18:24. It’s the kind of friendship Jonathan and David had. They had a “covenant” friendship
A covenant isn’t a statement about a preferred outcome — that, “…all things being equal…this is what I hope happens…” A covenant isn’t, “As long as things are good, my needs are met, I’m being fed, things are really easy and this doesn’t cost me anything, then, I’m in…” That’s not covenant!
A covenant is the complete opposite of a contract. A contract says, “If you do this, then I’ll do that…”
A covenant says, “Regardless of what you do, I am committed, devoted, loyal and pledged to you! I give up the right to be offended and take the exit door when we disagree or have a conflict. I’m not going anywhere! I’m in this, regardless. We’ve entered into a blood covenant.”
Most of us view marriage as a covenant between a man and a woman, but have you ever considered the idea that there ought to be some friends in our life who are covenant type friends?
Proverbs 18:24 is another “covenant friend” type passage.
One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. —Proverbs 18:24 NIV
It’s interesting that the word used for “sticks” in Proverbs 18:24 is the same word used in Genesis 2:24 when the Bible talks about a man being “united” or “joined” or “cleaving” to his wife. The word literally means “to stick like glue.” That’s a description of what a covenant friendship looks like.
Recently, the internet lit up when a woman posted to her Tiktok account her attempt to use Gorilla Glue Spray Adhesive on her hair when she ran out of her normal hairspray, Got2B Glued Blasting Freeze Spray.
The glue “worked.” At the time of her recording, she said her hair had been “stuck” in that condition for about a month. At the time I’m writing this, her post on Tiktok has been viewed more than 19 million times and shared over 481,000 times.
Only recently was she able to cut off a portion of the glued hair. On top of that, a plastic surgeon has offered to get rid of the glue and will require the woman to travel to California for treatment. All because, evidently, Gorilla Glue works. It sticks. Even to hair…
The word used for “sticks” in Proverbs 18:24 means “to stick like glue.”
David and Jonathan made a blood covenant with one another. They made a commitment to stick with one another like Gorilla Glue. They re-affirmed that covenant at least two more times.
The next time is 1 Samuel 20:16. Jonathan’s Dad, Saul, is on another rampage, attempting to take David out. They meet to reaffirm the covenant. This time, as they repeat the terms of the covenant, they also bring family into the relationship. Years later, after the death of Jonathan, David will honor the promise He made to Jonathan, by making his son, Mephibosheth, a part of his own family and allowing him a regular seat at the King’s table (2 Samuel 9).
They also repeat the covenant again three chapters later in 1 Samuel 23. This time, they not only bring family into the relationship, they bring God into it!
Why did these guys repeat their covenant with one another three times,? Because they wanted each other to know, “Circumstances may change, but a covenant friendship doesn’t change.” They understood that…
Covenant, “got your six” relationships need to be renewed and reaffirmed throughout the life of that relationship!
Casual friends will often ditch you when your world turns upside down. But a covenant friend doesn’t run from the mess, He or she runs to it! They won’t let you walk thru it alone!!!
Casual friends draw limits on the extent of their love and the price they’re willing to pay, but covenant friends are willing to love and stand with you even when it hurts!
We all need a covenant friend.
You can’t afford to have covenant relationships with everyone, but you can’t afford to not have a covenant relationship with someone.
Someone recently shared this principle with me:
“There are friends for a season, friends for a reason and friends for life.” —Unknown
We need all three kinds of friends, but it’s critical that we build a few strategic relationships with someone or a group of someones who can become a friend for life.
It’s interesting that when Jonathan and David entered into this covenant, Jonathan did a couple of things that took this covenant to another level.
Jonathan, out of his deep love for David, made a covenant with him. He formalized it with solemn gifts: his own royal robe and weapons—armor, sword, bow, and belt. —1 Samuel 18:3-4 MSG
Don’t miss all that’s packed into that passage. As a means of illustrating his commitment and devotion to the covenant he was making with his friend, Jonathan took off his robe – the robe of a PRINCE – and gave it to David.
It’s interesting that just one chapter before (1 Sam 17:38), when Saul tried to give David his armor before David went out fight Goliath, David rejected it. It didn’t fit. It didn’t feel right. It didn’t work.
But when Jonathan did basically the same thing, David graciously accepted it — because it fit. It felt right. It was a statement by a covenant friend.
When Jonathan placed his robe on David’s shoulders, he was saying, “You are more than you think you are! I see greatness in you! There’s a calling on your life! You are destined to be a leader! I see it all over you.”
The gift of Jonathan’s princely robe to David was also a symbol of shared status, privileges and possessions.
Jonathan was basically saying, “If you ever need anything that belongs to me, it’s yours! My bank account is your bank account! My private property is your private property! Everything I own or possess is now available to you. If you ever need any of my resources, they’re at your disposal…”
This is so rich!
Relationships flourish when you want someone else to succeed, just as much, if not even more, than you want yourself to succeed.
Jonathan was the crown prince, next in line to be king of Israel, but he willingly surrendered his right to the throne so that he could champion the calling and destiny of his friend, David.
We all need friends in our life who will do the same for us! Friends who will listen to our impossible, God-sized dreams and instead of throwing water on the flames and passion of our faith, pour gasoline on them and in the face of overwhelming challenges, say, “You were made for this! This is your moment!”
Covenant relationships are a constant back-and-forth, co-championing of one another, attempting to “out serve” one another in love! (See Gal 5:13)
Do you realize that there may have not been a “King David” without the influence and commitment of Jonathan?
You could be one “Jonathan” away from stepping into the destiny God has for you! You could actually be that “Jonathan” for someone in your life!
But, Jonathan shared more than his robe, he also gave David his body armor, sword, bow and belt.
The gift of Jonathan’s body armor, sword, bow and belt was a symbol or illustration of shared power.
Jonathan was basically saying, “David, you now have access to my power…”
“If you ever need my strength, it’s yours. If you ever need my protection, it’s yours. If you ever have any battles to fight, you don’t have to fight those battles alone. I will be there for you… You can count on me. I’m giving you access to my strength, weapons and power!”
Maybe you’re thinking, “But Christ, I don’t have a robe, sword, bow, belt or body armor to share with anyone?”
No! But you do have your faith, prayers, presence, and phone number! You have God’s Word and the gift of your time! You can use those to demonstrate the depth of your relationship.
Perhaps at this point, you’re thinking, “I wish I had a friend like that?”
The great news is you do!
While the covenant friendship of David and Jonathan was an actual relationship, it’s also an incredible picture of the relationship and friendship we have with God through His Son, Jesus.
Think of it, through what Jesus did on the cross, He took our sin, failures, mistakes and shame upon Himself, and replaced all of that with His “princely robe” of righteousness (2 Cor 5:21).
Not only that, Jesus willingly took our weakness, so that we could receive His strength. (2 Cor 8:9; 12:9).
Most amazingly, in John 15:15 Jesus looked at his disciples and said these astonishing words:
There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me. —John 15:13-15 NLT
Do you notice the word that keeps coming up again and again? It’s the word, “friend.” It gets mentioned three times in just three verses.
According to John 15, Jesus wants to be your friend.
In fact, God is the ultimate GOT YOUR SIX FRIEND! Need proof? Check out the promise He gives in Isaiah 52:12.
“…the Lord will go ahead of you; yes, the God of Israel will protect you from behind.” —Isaiah 52:12 NLT
Just as Jonathan made a covenant with David, God has made a covenant with us! Through what Jesus did on the cross, we have a blood covenant with God through His son, Jesus. Because of Jesus…
- God accepts us just as we are. (Rom 15:7; 1 Tim 1:15; Eph 1:3-6; Col 1:21-22; Jn 6:37)
- He is fiercely devoted to us, steadfastly loyal and will never leave. (Deut 7:9; Ps 86:15; 136:26; Zeph 3:17; Jn 3:16; Deut 31:6, 8; Josh 1:5, 9; Ps 27:10; Matt 28:20; Heb 13:5-6)
- He gives us access to his status, privileges and resources. (Eph 2:18; Rom 5:2; Heb 4:16; Rev 1:6)
- He is with us and gives us access to his power! (Acts 1:8)
That’s your God!
Why is this so important when it comes to building a covenant relationship?
Here’s why.
It’s out of the context of experiencing and living in God’s unconditional, extravagant, steadfast love that we develop the security to become the kinds of covenant friends we were meant to be.
Have you experienced God’s love?
Are you living in God’s love?
I’ll close with this quote from A.A. Milne and his character, Winnie The Pooh. I believe this quote accurately represents what your covenant friend, Jesus, thinks and is saying about you.
“If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together… there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart… I’ll always be with you.” —A. A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh
A PRAYER: Holy Spirit, what are you saying to me?
ACTIVATION: How am I doing in each of the three essentials? Affinity? Authenticity + Acceptance? Allegiance? Rate 2 or 3 of your most important relationships on a scale of 1 to 10, but you can’t use 7. If you rate your relationship as a 6 or below in any essential, you’ve got some work to do. If you rate your relationship as an 8 or above in any of the essentials, celebrate that, and commit to keep growing.
ACTIVATION: Make a list of up to three people you consider a covenant, “got your six” kind of friend. Before the day ends, text or email them to remind them that you are “with them, heart and soul.” That you’ve got their six…
If you don’t have a covenant, “got your six” kind of friend, admit it. Now, ask God to place someone in your life you can become that kind of friend to and who can become that kind of friend to you.
“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” –Walter Winchell