Over the past 12 months relationships of all shapes and sizes have taken a hit. They’ve become more disposable than ever. Friendships. Marriages. Family. They’re all on the ropes. COVID, the most volatile and divisive presidential election in recent history, racial unrest, political chaos, riots and more have created an environment in which relationships are struggling, fraying and falling apart.
A poll conducted in August 2020 indicated that nearly one in 10 married or partnered couples in the US say they are likely to separate… [1]
Early on in the pandemic, the divorce rate increased by 34%. [2]
One of the same polls also found that one in five marriages or partnered people are fighting more with their significant other, and, 30 percent indicated that they generally felt more annoyed with one another since the pandemic began. [3]
If this is the state of marriages, then it’s a no brainer as to what’s going on when it comes to friendships, workplace relationships and family.
Reams of research indicates that during times like this, deep level relationships are more critical than ever. Unfortunately, over the past year we’ve seen relationships fraying, some even completely shattered beyond repair. The relationships that should have been a source of comfort and strength have been abandoned and the impact is catastrophic.
A former surgeon general recently said that the greatest epidemic facing America is an epidemic of profound loneliness and disconnection.
Take just a moment to think about the relationships in your life. Has your marriage, or your dating relationship, or your friendships or workplace relationships taken a hit over the past twelve months?
It’s important to point out that COVID and the year that was 2020 didn’t create these stress fractures, it just revealed stress fractures that were already there.
During the early stages of the pandemic, when we were in strict quarantine, there was nowhere to hide. After a while, you couldn’t just keep “pretending” that everything was okay. Eventually, you had to face reality.
One of two things can happen when you come face to face with reality:
1) You bend and learn to work together so that you can improve the quality of the relationship, or,
2) You break. You make the decision to leave or check out.
Unfortunately, significant numbers of people — in marriages and friendships — made a decision to break — to check out, call it quits and walk away.
This series of blogposts is going to be for people who feel like they’re bending and others who feel like their relational world has already broken. Whether it’s a marriage, friendship, best friend, a small group, a mentor or a workplace relationship, this series of blogposts is going to face the relational dissonance in our world with biblical principles for bridging the gaps and healing the dissonance.
Why is this so important? Because, if medical professionals are saying, “We need each other,” if God’s Word says, “We need each other,” then, there might be something to this idea that WE NEED EACH OTHER.
That’s what “GOT YOUR SIX!” — the blog series and message series at A2.CHURCH is all about.
As you probably know, “Got your six” is a phrase that’s commonly used in the military and law enforcement. It may have originated as early as World War I, but was certainly an expression that was widely used by World War II. Even modern military heroes like former Navy Seal and NY Times best-selling author, Jocko Willink, regularly uses the phrase.
Several years ago the military used the numbers on a clock to inform each other of position. Twelve o’clock meant straight ahead or above. Three o’clock was to your right. Nine o’clock meant to your left. And, six o’clock was straight behind you, where you were most vulnerable to attack.
In World War II enemy planes would often attempt to take a position right behind the plane they wanted to take out. They wanted to assume this undefended blind spot where they could line up their shot and blow the unsuspecting plane to smithereens.
Whenever a comrade, partner or fellow fighter pilot said, “Watch my six” or “I’ve got your six” they meant, “Watch my back” or “I’ve got your back.”
In other words, as long as I’m standing or flying, it’s going to be impossible for the enemy to fly in or come up from behind you to take you down or take you out because, “I’ve got your six.”
Today, the expression has come to mean fierce loyalty, total fidelity and the kind of friend you can count on, regardless. A friend who will stick with you to the end.
We need people in our lives who’ve “got our six,” otherwise, just like the World War II fighter pilot, we’ll be exposed, vulnerable and easily picked off or taken out by the evil one or the very real challenges in life at some point down the road.
In this series of posts we’re going to describe the kind of relationships we all crave, but are too seldom experienced.
Here’s what a “got your six” relationship is all about:
“Got your six” friends have got your back
and stand by your side;
They improve your character,
and won’t let your dreams die.
Let me break that down.
“Got your six” friends have got your back —
(That’s protection and loyalty.)
And stand by your side.
(That’s togetherness and devotion.)
They improve your character,
(That’s truth and accountability.)
And won’t let your dreams die.
(That’s faith and inspiration.)
We all need those kinds of friends.
The book of Ecclesiastes describes this kind of relationship and why it is so important.
Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed… 12 A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. —Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, 12 NLT
This blog series will introduce several relationships in the Bible, digging out the Biblical principles that formed those relationships back then and can form our relationships right now.
In the next post, I’ll introduce a relationship I’ve been studying for approximately 30 years, and share three principles for building a “covenant” or “got your six” friendship.
In the meantime…
Who’s got your back?
Who is standing by your side?
Who is improving your character?
And, who refuses to let your dreams die?
That person is a GOT YOUR SIX friend!
If you have that kind of friendship, celebrate it. Shoot that person a text today. Thank them for their friendship. Reaffirm your commitment to them. Let them know, you’ve “got their six.”
If you don’t have that kind of friendship, admit it. Be honest in your assessment, but refuse to beat yourself up. Instead, ask God to place someone in your life that you can become that kind of friend to and who can become that kind of friend to you.
[1] https://www.nytimes.com/2020/08/26/parenting/breakups-divorces-relationships-coronavirus.html
[2] https://www.natlawreview.com/article/divorce-rates-and-covid-19
[3] https://www.nytimes.com/2020/08/26/parenting/breakups-divorces-relationships-coronavirus.html